The 5 Personality Patterns
Intro Workshop

Create Thriving Relationships and Personal Success with a Powerful New Way to Understand People

2 Days of in-person training with Steven Kessler, MFT
Therapist, Teacher, and Author of The 5 Personality Patterns

Your past is still stuck in your body.  It still controls your life.

It's time to Liberate Yourself.

Of course, you want your work and your personal relationships to bloom into joy and ease.  And you want to make a big contribution to Life.

But things don't always go that way. Sometimes what other people do and say is hard to understand. Sometimes it even seems like they're living in a different world. And just understanding your own feelings and needs can be confusing.

The problem is that you're caught in patterns of automatic thoughts and feelings and behaviors. They started out as ways to feel safer when you were young, but then got so conditioned into your body that now they control everything, from how you perceive to how you feel to how you behave. In fact, they control your life.

And you're not alone. Everyone's personality has been shaped by a few childhood safety strategies that gradually became so automatic that now they control their whole life. As we grow up, the strategies that we adopted to keep us safe gradually begin to confine and limit us. What once kept us safe becomes our prison cell.

So we live our lives caught in a prison that we don't even know is there.  We feel caught somehow, but we can't see what confines us and limits us.  We just think “That's how I am.” 

But you don't have to stay caught in your prison cell. You don't have to let those unconscious patterns control you for the rest of your life. You can learn about the 5 personality patterns and see which ones are running your life. And you can discover how to get out of your patterns and open up once again to the freedom of being present in the moment.

You will step onto that path when you decide to attend The 5 Personality Patterns Intro Workshop. Each module will deepen your understanding of the 5 safety strategies and the personality patterns that grow out of them. You'll discover which patterns you get caught in and how to know when you've gone into pattern. You'll begin learning the skills you need to get out out of pattern and come back to being present.

And you can immediately apply your new knowledge everywhere in your life. Suddenly, it will seem like you have x-ray vision. You'll be able to see what's going on inside those around you -- how they change as they become distressed, what safety strategies they employ, and what they need to feel safer. You'll find yourself able to deal with them more effectively and communicate with them more successfully. Instead of feeling scared or angry or judgmental, you may even find yourself feeling compassion for them.

Others who took this workshop have reported that it shifted them from self-judgment to self-love.  Or saved their marriage. Or led to success in their business or profession.

You can have those benefits, too. You can learn what's really happening inside yourself and others. You can learn the skills you need to cultivate a stable, grounded presence and develop emotional maturity.

It's not rocket science. It's just knowledge and practice. But you need a map that shows you where you are now and how to get to where you want to be. This workshop gives you that map and that knowledge.

What people are saying about Steven's work . . .

"This Course will change your life."

Danielle Eisenberg

Relationship Coach

“Steven was an excellent instructor with tremendous insight and willingness to help. Bravo!" 

Fran Friel

Barbara Brennan Practitioner

"This ... is a must for Leaders in gaining self mastery and the ability to understand and relate to others in a powerful, effective way."

J Kellert Ph.D

The Conscious Leadership Center

How You Will Benefit

You'll discover:

  • which patterns you get caught in
  • practices to shift yourself back to being present
  • how to recognize which patterns others are caught in
  • how to communicate with them successfully
  • how to work with them

Previous attendees report that their personal and professional lives bloom, their clients love it, and everything seems to become easier.

"It's like having x-ray vision!"

     Steven Kessler, MFT, EFT Expert & Trainer, has been a licensed psychotherapist for over 30 years, working deeply with Character Structure, Energy Psychology, and awareness itself.  Since 1984, he has taught hundreds of groups and seminars in the U.S. and internationally, helping men and women heal their wounds and grow into their full, adult selves. 

     His bestselling book, The 5 Personality Patterns, lays out a simple, clear, true-to-life map of personality that gives you the key to understanding people and relating to them effectively. Readers email him frequently with stories of how learning to see people this way has enriched their lives and led to both personal and professional success. 

Here's What You'll Learn

"It's like having x-ray vision!"

During this fun, exciting weekend, you'll discover:

  • the 5 ways people try to stay safe
  • how each of the 5 patterns develops
  • which patterns you go into when distressed
  • how to recognize the patterns in others
  • what different people need and how to help them get it
  • how to communicate with them successfully
  • how to work with them

During the 2 days, we'll explore 7 modules.

Module 1:  How Personality Forms 

How the 5 Safety Strategies become the 5 Personality Patterns

We will begin by exploring what happens inside people when they get distressed, how they habitually respond to try to feel safer, and how those habits shape their entire experience of life. We'll tease out the 5 main safety strategies people use, then help you discover which ones you use to feel safer. And the best part is, instead of listening to someone lecture you about it, you'll be learning it all from real life, from your own behavior and from those around you.  You'll be learning to see with your own eyes what's going on inside people.

Module 2:  Flee   The Leaving Pattern

This place scares me. I want to go home.”

The incoming spirit's first task is to settle into the body and attach to it, a process known as Embodiment. If the spirit doesn't feel safe here, it keeps bouncing out of the body. This derails the process of Embodiment, which makes it hard to be here in a human body, but easy to leave.

In module 2 you'll discover:

  • the Gifts of this pattern
  • the real reason some people are 'highly sensitive'
  • what makes the physical world seem so scary to them
  • how they use leaving to protect themselves
  • the origins and motives of their behavior
  • how embodiment is their key to finally feel safe here

Module 3:  Connect & Please → The Merging Pattern

I can never get full. I’m not enough. Love will solve everything.”

After coming into the body, the next task is Taking In food and love from others.  If there wasn’t enough, a person can get stuck in this stage, still trying to get everything they need from others.

In module 3 you'll discover:

  • the Gifts of this pattern
  • why people who do this pattern are so focused on talking and being close
  • how they got to be so good at connecting with people
  • why they get stuck in "I can't! You do it for me."
  • when they shift into "I can" and overdo it
  • how core, grounding, and self-care are their keys to safety and success

Module 4:  Hunker Down & Hide → the Enduring Pattern

You can't make me. Leave me alone.”

After Taking In, our next developmental task is Putting Out, in the form of self-expression and self-action. If we weren't allowed to say 'No' or be different from our parents, we can get stuck here, hunkered down for safety, but unable to express ourselves, take action, or succeed at anything.

In module 4 you'll discover:

  • the Gifts of this pattern
  • why people who do this pattern want so much space around them
  • how they got to be so good at enduring, but now feel heavy and resentful
  • how they get stuck in resisting everything
  • why they are so deeply grounded and strong
  • how claiming and filling their space is their key to safety and success

Module 5:  Fight → The Aggressive Pattern

"There’s no safety anywhere. It’s a jungle out there.”

Our next developmental task is Trusting Others. If our parents cannot hold us with both love and strength, or if our trust is betrayed and our love is used against us, we may swear off love and trust and turn to power for a sense of safety. If we get stuck there, we lose our sense of connection and belonging, and the world becomes a lonely battlefield.

In module 5 you'll discover:

  • the Gifts of this pattern
  • why people who do this pattern are so focused on power and dominance
  • how they got to be so good at leading, fighting, and getting their own way
  • why they get stuck in "I will do it all myself"
  • the advantages and disadvantages of being highly charged
  • how feeling held and contained by something big, strong and good is their path back

Module 6:  Be Good → The Rigid Pattern

"I am my Performance. So are You.”

If we are loved for our performance and correctness, but not for our hearts and our selves, we tend to lose touch with our inner life and focus on our performance. Outwardly, we become attractive and successful, but we do not develop our inner guidance, our capacity for Trusting Self. Our thinking, feelings, and even our life become stiff and rule-bound.

In module 6 you'll discover:

  • the Gifts of this pattern
  • why people who do this pattern are so focused on being good, right, and correct
  •  how they got to be so good at details, organizing, and performing
  • why they get stuck in black and white, right vs wrong, and good vs bad thinking
  • why feelings and spontaneity can scare them
  • how learning to feel their way through life is their path back to authenticity

Module 7:  Putting it All Together

Primary and Secondary Patterns

Getting Out of Pattern & Shifting into Presence

In module 7 you'll discover:

  • that people have both primary and secondary patterns
  • a 5 second re-centering practice
  • the 4 Basic Energy Skills everyone needs to be a healthy adult
  • 6 different ways to get yourself out of a pattern and back to presence

"I have been doing deep healing work with clients for the last 9 years and I integrate the Enneagram, energy work and other somatic practices. Steven has done a brilliant and deep work developing and compiling this information in a way that is approachable and also vast. He has obviously put in his time sitting and supporting and studying real humans. This work is a game changer."

MICAH McLAUGHLIN, Naturopathic Practitioner

"Over the years, I have attempted to learn about myself and heal frustrating patterns within myself through studying things like astrology, the Enneagram, Myers Briggs, etc. While I gained bits and pieces from each of those systems, nothing changed my life like learning about the character patterns . . . .  As a healthcare provider and a parent, I look forward to a world where this information is more widely accessible to and understood by the general public."


"Imagine understanding five clear survival patterns that run through everyone you know and love, everyone you work with and play with, and of course, yourself. Unlike more complicated systems (like the Enneagram with its 9 points), there are only five patterns to understand here, and when you do understand them, you will find that they do a remarkable job of shedding light on your day-to-day experience of yourself and others. Steven Kessler has done a remarkable job of reframing the insights of geniuses like Wilhelm Reich and Alexander Lowen so they can be understood and applied by everyone."


Book Your Workshop Now

Cost: $295 until 30 days before, $350 after that

CEs: 12 hours (see FAQs below)

Space is limited and pre-registration is required.

You will receive a confirmation email.

Questions? Please contact the local organizer, shown below.

Please also see FAQs below.



Grand Rapids, MI

Saturday and Sunday,

Oct. 13 & 14, 9am-4pm

Continuum Healing 

1324 Lake Drive SE, STE 4, 

Grand Rapids, MI

CEs can be added in the shopping cart

Early Discount ends Sept. 13th.


Contact Kara McNabb at



Los Angeles, CA

Friday and Saturday,

Nov. 16 & 17, 1:30-9:30pm

Yoga Nest Venice

38 W Washington Blvd,

Marina Del Rey, CA

CEs can be added in the shopping cart

Early Discount ends Oct. 17th.


Contact Sara Falugo at


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Can I bring my friend / spouse / sweetheart / family member?

Will the workshop be recorded?

What if I can't attend the entire time?

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